How to Stress Less During the Holidays Part 1

We are in the holiday season – Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and then New Year’s is right after that. Is this the most Wonderful Time of the Year for you? Or are you like many people who tell me they’re feeling even more STRESSED!

The holidays are filled with both joy and stress for most of us, right? Let’s talk about why our holidays are stressful and what can we do about it. This is part 1.

Did you know the American Psychological Association reports that during the holidays 55% of people feel additional stress? So if you feel more stress right now, you are not alone.

Why is that? What are two reasons we stress during the holidays?

• Unrealistic Expectations
• Time Management

Let’s dig a little deeper into these two reasons.

Unrealistic expectations – We think we should have an A+ holiday experience for everyone. Since many of my readers are women, I think women especially feel that. We are usually the nurturers and take care of the family’s schedule and holiday details. We feel we have to have the perfect meals, perfect gifts for our family and loved ones, no conflict, everyone should get along, decorate perfectly, plan activities for everyone. Do you think everyone’s joy during this season is dependent on you? I know I used to especially when my kids were little. And sometimes I’ll still get into that mode. But guess what? Just aim for a B- (that’s B minus) holiday for everyone, including yourself.

Time management –We plan too many activities – even good activities like the church choir’s big performance, going to the work party, having people over, our child’s band performance, holiday meal planning and and gift buying, and bringing the “right” dishes to events, etc. That plus work, daily life, and caring for our families can create this crazy discrepancy between how many hours are actually in the day and how many we “think” we need to get everything on our to-do list done. Are you like me who has actually had ten to twenty items on her to-do list? And then wondered why I couldn’t get them all done. Then that led to guilt and not feeling a sense of accomplishment, beating myself up about that, or staying up into the wee hours of the night to finish everything. Ughhh!

But there are better and more practical strategies you can do to help with both unrealistic expectations and time management.

Strategies to help you stress less

First, communicate. Ask everyone in your family (including yourself) what are the holiday traditions, events, foods, activities, and so on that they really want to do. Not what you or they “think” you need to do. What do you really enjoy? What brings happy memories?

Secondly, that leads to letting things go. You don’t have to do things simply because you’ve always done them. Here’s one example. My mama used to make pecan tarts every Christmas. When she passed away, I thought I needed to keep this tradition alive. So every year I made them. And the crazy thing is I never liked them and no one in my immediate family liked them. So one day I let that tradition go. I told my two sisters one of them could carry on that baton if they wanted. So let go of things that don’t bring joy and only add more stress like my pecan tarts. Or maybe bringing gifts to everyone in your contact list. That’s unrealistic plus expensive. So letting go can actually allow yourself time to breathe and relax, which helps everyone else in the family breathe and relax and enjoy. And we all know “if mama ain’t happy, no one is happy.”

Finally, be grateful and content for what you have and what you can do. Studies show that people who express gratitude actually experience better sleep, higher stress tolerance, and more meaningful relationships. And teach that to your children and grandchildren. If you can’t afford or don’t feel it’s necessary to get your kids or grandkids the latest and greatest item they want, then oh well. I promise it isn’t going to cause psychological damage the rest of their lives. You’ll be teaching them patience, appreciation, and budgeting. If they have to earn money to buy that special item they think they can’t live without, then they’ll learn independence and responsibility. And hopefully, it will prevent them from being in debt as they get older. We didn’t buy our children their own phones. They had to save and earn money to buy them. Yes, other kids couldn’t believe it that they were so “mistreated.” But our children are financially more wise now, not perfect, but more than most young adults their ages.

And after all, what is it we really want to accomplish during the holidays? Isn’t it to —

Have more meaningful relationships with family and loved ones?

Make special memories?

Have fun and relax?

And for Christians, celebrate the birth of Christ?

So let’s try the next few months to stress less during the holidays. You can pick one of these ideas or come up with your own. Just pick one small step. And if you’d like a FREE 30 Days to Less Stress Checklist, click here. I’ll talk about more reasons and other strategies in part 2 next time.

Do either of these reasons or any strategies resonate with you? If so, what can you do today to help you stress less this year?

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Leah Cheshire is a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach and a retired speech-language pathologist who works primarily with women who have brain fog, fatigue, weight issues, joint pains, bloating and other digestive issues, autoimmune, hormonal problems. She’s also been on a similar journey herself, having both a thyroid autoimmune disease and IBS who focuses on using nutritional and lifestyle modifications for both herself and clients. She’s been in the medical field for over 30 years and has been helping clients with holistic wellness for 19 years. She loves helping people take small steps towards better overall health – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. If you’d like to schedule a free 20-minute strategy session, you can click here to set that up.