Do you hate to say ‘No’? And do you feel guilty if you do? Do you also feel overwhelmed and stressed? I’ve heard from many of you who do, especially after the last couple of years. But did you know that an overwhelmed schedule and busyness isn’t just a trivial part of our culture?
It can cause your health to deteriorate.
If you’re busy, busy, busy and especially if you have any health conditions, autoimmune or digestive issues, post C-V concerns, you will want to keep on reading.
If you hate to say ‘no,’ guess what can happen? Your stress levels increase which causes your cortisol levels to increase which causes blood sugar levels to be high which can cause more fat storage. In addition, insomnia, headaches, poor digestion, and even cardiovascular health is affected. See how one creates consequences for other areas of our health.
Thankfully, there are things we can do to help. Read below from Dr. Nancy Williams, my guest blogger for today.
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Saying “no” and holding your ground can be hard for people-pleasers. Being a recovering people-pleaser myself, I understand that it can even be physically painful to say “no.”
But trust me… it hurts more to sabotage your own self-interests and values.
Saying “no” may not be natural to you, but it’s not too late to learn, especially when you could be setting yourself up for self-abandonment in the long run.
In the immediate future, if you don’t learn how to set boundaries, you may feel overwhelmed and unable to be truly present for your loved ones.
Valuing everyone else’s time and energy more than you value your own may be a sign that you don’t recognize the worth of your own amazing life.
By not saying “no,” you’re constantly telling yourself that you matter less, and your body and mind believe you!
That stuff adds up and eventually becomes a kind of self-loathing.
Here are 5 Ways for People-pleasers to Say NO
- “I’ll get back to you.”
You don’t have to make a decision right away, especially if your instinct is to always say, “yes.”
- Set limitations.
Let yourself say, “yes,” but limit the amount of time or scope of the project.
- “No thank you.”
This seems too simple to work, but if you say it nicely then turn around and walk away,
it’s quite effective. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
- “That doesn’t work for me.”
If you are pressed for an explanation, tell them that you have your reasons. That will change the power dynamic, and you’ll feel less pressure.
- Say it with confidence.
Whatever you choose to say, say it like you’re protecting the time and energy of your closest loved one (because that’s exactly what you’re doing!). Every time you say “no” to something that doesn’t serve you, is a “yes” to yourself.
Saying “no” isn’t selfish if saying “yes” isn’t something you really mean.
You can be gracious and kind while not allowing others to take advantage of your kind-hearted nature, even if it’s family and even if it’s the holiday season.
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Dr. Nancy Williams is a music educator and leadership and life coach. Join Nancy’s FREE masterclass “How to Say No: 5 Keys to Setting (and Keeping!) Strong and Kind Boundaries” here: https://drnancywilliams.com/sayno
